Day 5...21 days to go

21 days until 32 weeks

         35 days until 34 weeks         

49 days until 36 weeks

Currently: 29 0/7 weeks

Well...it's day 5. The good news: I'm still pregnant! The bad news: I'm still in the hospital and not going anywhere anytime soon. I was hoping they'd do another ultrasound today, but Dr. VanEerden said that even if my cervix was thinner, we wouldn't change the plan that we're on, so he felt Monday was okay unless things change. I'm not having many contractions that I'm noticing (although, I feel like I've had some, just not when I'm being monitored). I'm not ruptured and I haven't shown any other signs of active labor. If that changes, then I'll have another ultrasound but unless things change we'll wait until Monday.

On Wednesday when I realized I probably wasn't going anywhere, I realized I needed something to do besides look through magazines, read books and watch TV. So I figured I could learn how to crochet. (crazy thought, I know!) Nikki stopped by Hobby Lobby for me and brought some yarn. I did lots of youtubing that day, trying to figure it out. Wasn't working out well, but I figured I had some time! Well, my night nurse, Sandy, came on and she knew how to crochet, so showed me how!! I made a hot pad thing of some sort (basically it's just a bunch of rows for practice). I figured if I could accomplish that, I could move onto a hat. So I made a hat, but it wasn't very big. It would fit Monkey if he/she arrived right now, but we don't want that, so it was just practice. I googled and found all sorts of blogs and started another one. Mission accomplished and I've made a hat! It's pretty girly, so Nikki is going to pick me up some more boyish yarn so there's a hat if this is a boy and one if it's a girl. I may have a hat for every day of the week done pretty soon!

Like I've said before, I'd rather sit here in the hospital any day, keeping this baby inside, than sit with our baby in the NICU. There are days that are very long, but I know that the days will be even longer and harder over there. At 29 weeks, there are so many complications that can happen and I keep reminding myself every time I start getting sad or start thinking about how much this sucks, that this is better for Monkey and better for all of us. At 29 weeks, we risk Monkey having breathing problems and ending up with life-time lung problems. Some babies have a hard time with feedings and have lots of issues with that. Every day that I can keep this baby inside reduces those risks minutely. Not a lot, but every day is one day better than the last. They say that every day the baby sits inside, decreases your NICU stay by 2-3 days. So even though it's hard missing every bedtime at home and it's hard not getting the extra snuggles that Jack wants in the morning and it's hard missing the good-bye hugs, every day is a better day than the last for Monkey. I sit here often and wonder why this is happening, why our family, why now but I know that God has a plan for us.

"For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

We had that verse at our wedding and I think of it often through all of the things we've been through. I know and trust that God has a plan for us and that it is glorious. I know that God would not do anything to harm us, although at the time, it's devastating. He has a plan for us and everything happens for a reason. There is some sort of reason for this and although we don't know what it is, nor may we not until we meet God himself, I know that it will be okay. It's times like this that strengthen my faith, when some people would just question. I know through my whole mind and body that God knows what he is doing and he has a plan for us. I have to remind myself of this often, because it is very easy to slip back into the 'poor me' thought process. We have awesome doctors, my nurses are amazing. Nikki has been a huge help. Jon has been strong for me and Jack is doing alright. He's old enough to understand what's going on and accept what is happening. I'm sure there will be a break down at some point, (I mean...he's only 3, what do you expect!) but we will get through this with God that gives us strength.

Tonight we are having a sleepover and Jack is very excited. He's got his sleeping bag all ready to go, pjs packed and movies ready. I secretly think he's most excited about taking a bath in my big whirlpool tub, but let's be honest...who wouldn't be?!?! It's really nice! I'm ecstatic to see them tonight and have more than just a few hours with Jon and Jack. 

So for now, we're just hanging tight, baby-growing our way through the day! Thank you for your continued prayers and keep sending them our way!!