Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Cruising right along!

33 weeks and we are cruising right along with this baby! Four more days until 34 weeks, which means we will have Jack's "record" beat and I am certainly glad to let Jack keep his record on this one!
We were sitting at the supper table last weekend and Jack was asking about how much longer it would be until Little Bean arrives. His teacher would be proud...math 101 for Jack!
Mom: I'm 33 weeks and the earliest we want Little Bean to come is 37 weeks. How many weeks is that?
Jack: 4 weeks
Mom: How many days in a week?
Jack: 7 days
Mom: Okay, so what is 7+7?
Jack: 14
Mom: What is 14+7?
Jack: 21
Mom: What is 21+7?
Jack: 28
Mom: That means we have 28 more days until we hit the earliest time for Little Bean to come.
HUGE SMILE from Jackson with a giddy giggle to go with it!!
We are trying to get ready...well, by trying that means that I am making a lot of lists of what needs to get done...furniture we need to move, things we need to get washed, baby items to get out, things that need to get purchased. I'm waiting until my cerclage comes out and then planning on heading to Target to get all of that (unless I get permission from my doctor for a special trip before that time!). One of those nesting things I really need to do myself...buy the diapers, get the bottles, all of the stuff ready for the hospital....organize the baby items...get ready for this baby to arrive! Only a few more weeks to go for that!!
Back in January, I'm not sure anyone else thought we would really make it this far. I knew in my heart that God would not give us this baby if we couldn't get the whole way without complications and an early delivery. It is what I prayed for...for years. I prayed for a healthy baby. I prayed for no hospitalization. Now, looking back, my mind was probably thinking bedrest...BUT I haven't been hospitalized for this pregnancy. I haven't been placed on super strict bedrest. With Kenzi, I was allowed to get up to go to the bathroom and take a shower every few days...not every day. I needed someone to drive me to the doctor. I was allowed to go downstairs for supper only. This pregnancy, while on bedrest, hasn't given me those restrictions...a true blessing. And with every prayer that has been lifted up, by us and for us, has given us this blessing! Every day, every kick, every time the kids feel this baby move, watching my stomach jump around...I know that it is all in God's hand...and having gotten this far and only had one blip of getting a cerclage placed, I know that is all Him. When you place something like this all in God's hands, you WILL see His hand in everything. Yes, there are times that a diagnosis isn't good and that things will be hard, but many times, when those people look back, they do see His hand somewhere...you just have to look for it. I could sit here and mope around, feeling sorry for myself that I haven't been able to work and have inconvenienced others, but I can't. God has given us this blessing and I need to look and find all of the small blessings He has given us through this time.
God knows. He hears us, friends. Read more here:
And so now we are on the downhill slope of this pregnancy. We are that much closer to having a baby in our arms!! And I am ecstatic! I can't wait to bring this baby into our family and into our lives. Kenzi has promised us all sorts of promises when she becomes a big sister...she won't yell anymore, she won't wake up crying, she will be nice all of the time....haha...we'll see how that goes! Here's to the next 25-40 some days until this baby arrives safely in our arms! Please pray for a safe entrance into this world and pray for our family as we get ready for this wonderful transition from a family of 4 to a family of 5!! We are giddy with anticipation and I can't wait!!

Thursday, March 12, 2015

31 weeks

2 days until 32 weeks
30 days until 36 weeks
Currently: 31 5/7 weeks

I feel like doing a dance! Everything is stable...baby looks great and I don't have to go back for two weeks!! I haven't done that since about 15 or 16 weeks!! It feels like a sigh of relief to have a plan further than just a week. I go back in two weeks for just a regular OB appt and then two weeks after that for another growth ultrasound and then the cerclage will come out at 36-37 weeks! A plan...something I'm ecstatic to have!!
Little bean is weighing in at 3 lbs 14 oz and they said they can already see a LOT of hair! The tech said they typically can see some peach fuzz at this point, but you could see TONS of it! At the rate we're going, this babe might beat both kids in weight! Jackson was 4 lb 14 oz at 34 weeks and Kenzi was 5 lb 5 oz at 38 weeks. Little Bean wasn't being super cooperative for many pictures, as having his/her arm up by the face seemed more important! Kenzi was like that a lot and did it a lot after she was born too! 
The last few weeks have been kind of rough. I'm getting stir crazy at home...trying to make some hats or something, but not really having any reason to make them for besides just something to do feels unproductive, so that isn't keeping me extremely motivated right now. Knitting is okay, but so much more time consuming than crochet that I get bored easily and I'm trying to figure out the circular needles but that isn't easy....so the days and weeks have seemed longer, which hasn't been great for my emotions, to say the least! I've needed to take some time to refocus and came across this quote that seems so very appropriate right now.

I am having to sacrifice a lot right now...helping my family with things, like dishes and cleaning, sacrificing my job right now, that I adore and miss every day, sacrificing my sanity at times, sacrificing being able to meet our new niece or nephew who will arrive soon, sacrificing being able to travel, sacrificing seeing my kids at swimming lessons and seeing how much they learn, but then I think of all that I'm giving right now. I'm giving Little Bean the best possible outcome by doing this. I'm giving him/her another day to grow inside rather than in the confinements of the NICU. I'm giving our family another life...another sibling, another son or daughter to love and teach and adore. I'm giving through God's plan and bringing another life into this world...a life that He has planned well before my existence, to fulfill a purpose for Him. So when you look at the sacrifices that need to happen in order for this to happen...it doesn't seem like sacrifice at all. It is a blessing...and it is something that God has trusted me to do and I need to trust that He knows that in the end, this will all be fine. And I'll look back, as I did with Kenzi, and realize that it wasn't that long and in the grand scheme of things, the giving is way more important than the sacrifices.
This week, I'm going to request prayers for something different...for our sweet Kenzi. She has been struggling lately and I'm speculating that she is overly tired, but this change of routine and life in general has taken a toll on her behavior. Please pray for good sleep for her. Essentially since the last time change, her sleep has been off...and not just a little, a LOT! Before that, she had been sleeping through the night and now she's up frequently! We've gotten past the phase of her waking up and just screaming in the middle of the night...and we've gotten past her coming in our room nightly and wanting to crawl in bed with us, but this is exhausting! She has been going to bed okay, with the help of melatonin, but will often wake up at least once a night and waking up extremely early! She has always been a very light sleeper and I'm not sure if Jon getting up early for work is the difference, but we're talking like 5:45-6:15 every day. I thought that this time change would help her, but it has not. She is struggling at daycare to be nice and not yell at her friends, or take toys...it's getting frustrating for everyone involved. We are blessed that Stacey is understanding with everything going on, but I feel guilty taking her every day, knowing it won't be a good day. We've tried bribing her with candy, punishing her by missing things she wants to do, but regardless of good or bad, nothing is working. So please say some extra prayers for our sweet girl...that she gets good sleep, caught up on sleep she's lost and go back to being the sweet girl we all know and love!
We are so thankful that Jackson is taking this all in stride and is handling this well. He has tried his hardest with Kenzi in the mornings, to help her get ready and downstairs, getting her breakfast and trying to talk her back into a better mood. He has been doing great coming home in the afternoons and helping around the house. He is excited for the nice weather and glad to be outside! Soccer starts in a few weeks so he is excited.
Thanks again for checking in and all of the prayers! We're on the downhill slope, but are still in need of prayers for stability! Until next time...

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Side by side

So I finally found the ultrasound pics of Kenzi to compare! 

Kenzi is on the left, Little Bean on the right! 

Monday, March 2, 2015

30 weeks

12 days until 32 weeks
54 days until 38 weeks
Currently: 30 2/7 weeks

Not a great pic, but what can I say...no makeup and hair all crazy! I need one of those shirts that says proud supporter of sweatpants and no makeup!

God truly has His hands on this baby...we've made it to 30 weeks!!! My appointment last week was fairly boring, hence why I didn't update then...not much to say. My length has stayed stable around 4-5mm. Dr. McNamara actually talked about when the cerclage will come out and delivery stuff! So I'm going to believe that we've hit some sort of relief from him and he's not as concerned...I mean, there are always unforeseen circumstances that could happen, such as an infection or something, but from a length standpoint and baby standpoint, we are looking good! The Procardia has kept any sort of contraction under control, which is good.  If they would start becoming stronger and more significant, it would cause dilating, which would be bad, as the cerclage is keeping my cervix closed...if they did become strong enough, the stitch could essentially rip out...not good. So the Procardia, as not fun as it is to wake up at 2 in the morning to take it, is doing it's job. 

So the plan, barring any complications, will be to take the cerclage out around 37 weeks and see what happens! I figured you'd take the cerclage out and bam, labor would start...but he said that only happens about 10% of the time! If I get to 39 weeks without going into labor, then we'll talk about induction...I told him that isn't even funny to talk about! I remember them saying that with Kenzi and wanting to cry...I spent all of these weeks trying to keep this baby in and now she won't come out! I did go into labor alone with Kenzi after being off Procardia and bed rest for 2 weeks, so let's hope it is similar...I really don't want to even think about induction!

We continue to pray for stability and quiet. The days are long but we've made it a long way so far...and have just as much time to go, but it is all worth it to get a healthy baby! I dream of being able to skip the NICU and have our kids run into my room to meet this babe and get to hold him/her right away, like Jack was able to. The difference between Jackson and Kenzington's birthdays was so vast...Jackson was having to pick and choose who got to go back and see him...lots of tears, monitors, weighing diapers, tracking every drop of milk he drank, isolettes, bili blankets, painful pumping, leaving without him. Kenzi was friends coming up when they wanted, nursing with ease, snuggling in bed, Jackson's smiling face running in, walking out of the hospital WITH a baby. I pray everyday that we get that experience again. Our kids pray for that every night. 
Again, we cannot say thank you enough for everyone who has brought over meals, helped out, came over to visit...each and every thing is so greatly appreciated and there aren't enough thank you'd in the world! 

The kids start swimming lessons today. Kenzi was so excited, she broke out her new swimsuit yesterday and ran around the house most of the afternoon! Hopefully it goes well!