24 weeks marks viability for this babe...three more weeks for a full sigh of relief for me, knowing the road would be long but not as worrisome!
Three more weeks to pass the mark the time that I needed to go on bed rest with Kenzi. Every week after 27 is a gift in my mind!
I had an appointment on Tuesday that changed the course a bit. My cervical length had been hanging around 35mm after I had my cerclage placed (it had been around 20mm at that time...my doc told me to think of it like a drawstring, when you pull everything together, things gets a little thicker.). Well, we went to start the ultrasound and my cervix was once again "dynamic" as the doctor put it. You could literally watch it go from 30s down to teens. Yes, I said teens....12mm to be exact. So the first restriction was placed of no outreach for work. Flying across the state to Rapid and up to Fargo is out, which was okay in my book, as I didn't want to be that far away, have something happen and have Jon that far away. So then yesterday afternoon, I felt off. Something just didn't feel right. So when it continued this morning, I went back in today and my "dynamic" cervix was now not being so dynamic and going back and forth, but just staying in the teens again. *sigh* So it was decided that I will do the same steroid shot that I did with Kenzi (betamethasone) today and tomorrow. Spend the next few days resting and then go back to work half-days until my next ultrasound. My cerclage is saving me from complete bedrest right now, as it is keeping the cervix closed, which is the job. (I had told Dr. Mac to tie things extra tight, so hopefully that'll be the trick!) We are going to take things one day at a time and see what happens.
Little Bean continues to grow and is certainly looking more like a baby on the pictures. When you start getting the 3D ultrasounds at 16 weeks, they don't look quite so adorable. Jackson has informed me numerous times that Little Bean is not very cute right now....until this last time around. I showed the kiddos the picture and Jackson said "Mom, his (yes he always says he...no, we do not know this babe's gender) nose looks like a real nose now and his cheeks are getting cuter!" They measured Little Bean at 1 lb 9 oz on Tuesday, so growing nicely at this point in time. And today's pictures showed the world's cutest little lips, wouldn't you say?!?
We have been in this spot before (although a few weeks earlier this time around) and I am confident that we can do this all again. I know there are people who are rolling their eyes and thinking, "If you've already been down this road once, why did you choose to do this again." I've heard some of the joking/sarcastic remarks of, "better make this your last baby so you don't have to put everyone else through this again." I felt this way last time and I will continue to have the same thought process, which is this: while having preterm labor is not fun and not easy, it is not life threatening to me or to this baby. If I had extreme preeclampsia last time or something that put my life in danger or this baby's life in danger, we would have not done this again. I can do this again...I've done it before and can do it again.
I have prayed for more than 2 years that if God could not give us a healthy baby, then don't give us another chance at all and we will consider other options to expand our family, but God obviously has different plans for our family. This baby has been prayed over well before he/she was conceived. We prayerfully went into this knowing what could happen. We have taken out insurance policies to help if something were to happen and have been prepared for this. Having another baby in this family was not done half-hazardously, as some people may think. And no, I am not going to say that this is for sure our last baby, because I have a thing about permanently taking a person's fertility...I'm guessing it has something to do with having two aunts who passed away and when I think about that and what if something happened to myself or Jon and we found someone else to love and marry, I don't want to have made that permanent of a decision for their future. I don't want to intervene and make something permanent if that is not what God's plan is for us. Am I saying we will do this again...no Am I saying we won't...no...because that is not my decision, that is God's decision. So I am also graciously asking (in the nicest way possible) that if you hold the previous opinion, please keep it to yourself. If you cannot be supportive for us because you do not share the same opinion, then that is okay...just please don't share it with me or with anyone else either. It is not helpful for me to hear these things from anyone...it is stressful and heart wrenching for me to hear this and the last thing I need is more stress. We are bringing a life into this world. We are not doing this selfishly and without faith. We are doing this with full faith and I know that God's works is at hand.
What we need right now are a lot of prayers. Pray that cutting back on hours is all I need. Pray for this baby to grow and be healthy. Pray for Dr. McNamara as he makes decisions regarding this pregnancy. He is a phenomenal physician and I could not ask to be in any better hands than his. Pray for things to stabilize and not change. Pray for our entire family. Any prayers that you are willing to give, are greatly appreciated!
Little Bean continues to grow and is certainly looking more like a baby on the pictures. When you start getting the 3D ultrasounds at 16 weeks, they don't look quite so adorable. Jackson has informed me numerous times that Little Bean is not very cute right now....until this last time around. I showed the kiddos the picture and Jackson said "Mom, his (yes he always says he...no, we do not know this babe's gender) nose looks like a real nose now and his cheeks are getting cuter!" They measured Little Bean at 1 lb 9 oz on Tuesday, so growing nicely at this point in time. And today's pictures showed the world's cutest little lips, wouldn't you say?!?We have been in this spot before (although a few weeks earlier this time around) and I am confident that we can do this all again. I know there are people who are rolling their eyes and thinking, "If you've already been down this road once, why did you choose to do this again." I've heard some of the joking/sarcastic remarks of, "better make this your last baby so you don't have to put everyone else through this again." I felt this way last time and I will continue to have the same thought process, which is this: while having preterm labor is not fun and not easy, it is not life threatening to me or to this baby. If I had extreme preeclampsia last time or something that put my life in danger or this baby's life in danger, we would have not done this again. I can do this again...I've done it before and can do it again.
I have prayed for more than 2 years that if God could not give us a healthy baby, then don't give us another chance at all and we will consider other options to expand our family, but God obviously has different plans for our family. This baby has been prayed over well before he/she was conceived. We prayerfully went into this knowing what could happen. We have taken out insurance policies to help if something were to happen and have been prepared for this. Having another baby in this family was not done half-hazardously, as some people may think. And no, I am not going to say that this is for sure our last baby, because I have a thing about permanently taking a person's fertility...I'm guessing it has something to do with having two aunts who passed away and when I think about that and what if something happened to myself or Jon and we found someone else to love and marry, I don't want to have made that permanent of a decision for their future. I don't want to intervene and make something permanent if that is not what God's plan is for us. Am I saying we will do this again...no Am I saying we won't...no...because that is not my decision, that is God's decision. So I am also graciously asking (in the nicest way possible) that if you hold the previous opinion, please keep it to yourself. If you cannot be supportive for us because you do not share the same opinion, then that is okay...just please don't share it with me or with anyone else either. It is not helpful for me to hear these things from anyone...it is stressful and heart wrenching for me to hear this and the last thing I need is more stress. We are bringing a life into this world. We are not doing this selfishly and without faith. We are doing this with full faith and I know that God's works is at hand. What we need right now are a lot of prayers. Pray that cutting back on hours is all I need. Pray for this baby to grow and be healthy. Pray for Dr. McNamara as he makes decisions regarding this pregnancy. He is a phenomenal physician and I could not ask to be in any better hands than his. Pray for things to stabilize and not change. Pray for our entire family. Any prayers that you are willing to give, are greatly appreciated!
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